Form Fit

I applaud any person that steps foot in the gym. Anyone making an attempt to better their body has my vote. You wondering where this is going yet? The big “but.” I think we all have someone at our gym or someone we see workout that looks certifiable, a hot mess. You may have seen them all – the sideways treadmill runner, the book reading slowest biker ever, the heavy breathers, the dirty pervs that stare, etc. You get my point. Listen, glad you made it out but let’s talk about form.

The Hot Sundaes - they had great form!

If you are already at the gym focus on WHY you are there and maximize your effort and time. After seeing a girl on the treadmill next to me literally throw her arms and upper body over the top of the treadmill as if to hug it out or hold on for dear life, I have to address this issue.

– Target treadmill: Crank that incline, work that speed, but stay tall and lean. The second your back bends or your arms cling to the machine, you are taking away the work the right muscles should be doing.

I'm at the gym and I'm siiiiiingiiiiing!

– Elliptical, not part of the Twilight series: Ever watch Olympic cross country skiing? OK, that’s the machine’s purpose. If you are creating a category 4 breeze as you whiff those arm bars by, it’s time to crank your intensity up. You want to be able to hold on firm and use your arms to move your whole body and legs. The workload for your arms and glutes should be somewhat balanced. Otherwise the machine ends up getting the workout and moving you.

– Weight for it: I see you stud-muffin, lifting that big old heavy weight. I also see you looking like a cotton-headed ninny-muggins because clearly your back is going to go out before you put that barbell down. On your last hard lift you should be close to breaking form, but if your last lift has you wobbling like those crazy arm waivers you see at a Fourth of July auto sale, pump the breaks. Not only could you seriously pull something, but you are also missing out on the full gain you can get from a controlled lift.

Focus on your form and you’ll look even more like the pro you are!

Please, I have to hear the craziest workout you’ve seen going on, indoors or out! Any tips to share to make each workout count?

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19 responses to “Form Fit

  1. LOL – this is great and sooo true. One time I found myself running in a 5K behind this girl who ran with her arms dangling at her sides the entire time. It was like she was just swinging her shoulders and arms lifeless, and yes, the did work, I did see her move them. I hate to see the people on those recumbent bikes, slowly pedaling and reading an entire book. I think if you can really read the book (that tiny print) you are NOT working.

  2. I can’t believe you pulled a picture from Save by the Bell, classic. Everything you said above is so true, only thing I can add is smelly people who obviously wear the same workout clothes over and over again. Listen Pig-Pen, wash those badboys before they crawl away.

  3. Hahha – Love this. And I really loved Saved by the Bell with Hot Sundae. I remember all the words to their song. Should we plan to re-create Hot Sundae at HLS? Billy and I always see this middle-aged man riding around on his homemade bicycle. It’s powered primarily by his arms and it’s almost like he’s doing sit-ups to power him forward. We talked to him one day and found out it took him years to make the bike and he swears it’s the best exercise he’s ever had.

  4. Great post. It reminded me of a few years back when I saw a women wearing those rocker/shaper shoes(before their popularity)at the gym and thought she had a physical handicap and they were corrective shoes. I guess she was just a trendsetter. It really makes me wonder what people are willing to wear even if it looks silly if they think it will work? How long until the knee high leg warmers of the 80’s make a comeback?

  5. Ha, I haven’t been to a gym in a while but can imagine your every point. and also, people shouldn’t be getting *that* close to the treadmil anyway. It’s been touched by many. Gross.

  6. So I recently came across your blog and have now started following. I had to comment on this post!

    Tuesday evening in my spin class a girl sat on the bike in front of me (i.e. in the first row of class). She wore what looked like a clubbing shirt – the entire back was slit OPEN. The material was silk like and bright blue. The slit was open enough that as she was getting on the bike – I saw her stomach. She clearly was wearing a strapless bra (there were no sports bra straps). She didn’t do a single jump during the class (maybe out of fear her shirt would fall open) and didn’t pedal hard enough to work up a sweat. I’m not really sure what her goal was that night. I gave her the benefit of the doubt until yesterday evening.

    There on the elliptical, in another slit down the back shirt (bright pink this time) she was slowly moving and reading a magazine. During peak hours none-the-less.

    • I am in stitches, this is too much. Clubbing?! Maybe she was doing the “ride of shame” instead of walk. It’s like a real life American Apparel model joined the class.

      too funny!

  7. LOVE! This was both funny and really good information. It does drive me nuts when I am at the gym and I see this guy who comes and pedals on the bike while he reads the morning paper. Really?! C’mon dude…

  8. LOL – this post is perfect! Hopefully the people needing the tips are reading. Every once in awhile I get stuck on the treadmill and it’s inevitable that my friend, “Soda Can,” hops on next to me. He usually arrives with a coffee, which rests in the holder. He pounds out some crazy sprints and just when he can’t breathe anymore, he busts the can of soda out of his gym bag for a sip. What?!

    This is very informative. There are lots of people working in most gyms. If you aren’t sure of what to do with a piece of equipment, ask. I know I had to, but it was really helpful when I did!

  9. Love the “Saved by the Bell” photo. I almost forgot about that classic.

    I find that it’s okay to do exercise just to move, and not necessarily have a goal of raising my heartbeat much or feeling sore the next day. Sometimes it feels good to just go for a walk, or leisurely ride my bike, or to stretch.

  10. I work in a gym so I have pretty much seen everything. The funniest people have to be the ones that flail around on the elliptical. They go as fast as they can with no resistance. LOL.

  11. this is so funny and true! this guy at the gym used to lug around his workout bag and huge bottle of protein shake with him from each exercise to the next-weirdo!

  12. Hilarious! I always notice the grunters and certain people who either sing along to their ipods out loud, or this guy that ALWAYS belches while on the elliptal. Gross. And I often see a girl that does the elliptical so slowly she will never break a sweat or burn more than 2 calories. 🙂

  13. hahaha oh, if only these things weren’t so true! I always want to yell at those people (ok, usually girls) that are flailing about on the elliptical at top speed…and zero resistance. Just because you’re moving along at 20mph, doesn’t mean you’re getting a good workout!

    Another thing, why do so many big guys come to the gym and lift in jeans and clunky Tims (or other work boots). I’m confused -does it make you look more hard core or rugged or something??

  14. this is a great post!
    I can’t seem to understand why there are men at my gym who wear far too much cologne. The gym is almost entirely male and there is nothing worse than a big cloud of strong cologne that you can’t escape on the elliptical beside you. Well, perhaps they are covering up awful body odor? Not sure which is worse…

  15. OMG cracking up as I saw the Saved By The Bell pictures. At my gym, there is this dude we call “The Stretcher” because he gets on the treadmill to use the time to not run, not walk, but stretch rather INAPPROPRIATELY so he can show off what he feels is his hot bod and also stare at women around him. It is painful to watch. Seriously. Short Shorts included.

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